It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. Lots going on in life since my mother passed away nearly two years ago. A troubled economy, layoffs, creating a new and tighter relationship with my dad, ups and downs with the career…whew…it’s almost tiring just thinking about it!
Two years ago we were in the midst of “crap, my mom has pancreatic cancer” and had no idea how much longer we had with her (which would end up being ’til October). Holidays still hit me hard as well as taking a walk along a particular stretch of road or seeing/hearing/thinking about other reminders. This time of year gets to me also as it nears the anniversary of it all.
One thing that gets to me quite a bit however is how much I miss sharing my accomplishments with my mother. Whenever I did something cool (well, I thought it was cool at least) she was the first person I’d call and tell about it. Sharing everything with her was awesome. She showed such a genuine interest in anything I did (even if she didn’t understand it one bit) and was so very encouraging for me to continue on. So awesome! It was her support throughout life that has given me that “can do” attitude. If I wanted to do something, I just had to work at it and then I could do it. Great lessons in life.
I bring all this up because I just completed another major accomplishment. I worked on an iPhone app (it’s called LocaJot. Look it up in the App Store or check out the site at LocaJot.com) and we just released it last week. It’s exciting seeing all our hard work finally becoming a product for others to use. It’s exciting to see how people around the world are downloading it. There are many exciting aspects to it all and I just want to say “Look Mom! Isn’t this awesome?!?!?”
For now I can just say “Thank you Mom for giving me the mental fortitude to take on this challenge and to create something cool.” I dedicate LocaJot to you Mom…I couldn’t have done it without you. And even though you wouldn’t have an iPhone or iPod even if you were still alive, I know you’d be telling me how proud you are of what we did. Thank you!
My mom has taught me many lessons throughout life. Obviously when I was a young child she taught me the basics of life. However, as I got older many of the lessons that I learned from her were not “taught” per se but more of observations on my part…observations on how I should live my life in order to be a good person.
Before I get onto these lessons I will take care of the administrivia…
First you will notice that this site still has not become the social networking site that I had promised. I’m sure you can all forgive me as I spend my days and evenings spending as much time as possible with my mother. Also, I am still accepting submissions for a tattoo that honors my mother. I want a heart, perhaps the word “mom”, and any design that would look good incorporated into it. Placement will be on the heart of course. Send them to contest@MyMomIsMyBestFriend.com.
Now…what are the best lessons that my mother has taught me? The few that I can think of right now as I sit in hospice with my mother are as follows.
- Enjoy what you have. It doesn’t make any sense pining for something you don’t have. If you’ve got a bowl of soup, enjoy it for the nourishment it is and stop complaining that you don’t have a steak.
- Be happy. Sounds simple. It IS simple. It’s even easier when you smile a lot. Being an angry person is just a waste of energy and not a pleasant thing for anyone around you.
- Don’t worry about things. This one can be tricky, but it makes sense. I mean, I could sit here and worry about this and that but it’s just a drain on the energy and it really doesn’t get you anywhere.
- Enjoy and don’t worry. A hybrid of #1 and #3. Since hearing about the cancer that took hold of my mother back in July I could have done one of two things. First, I could have worried, cried, lamented, and been miserable about the news. Or, in a better way to live life I can enjoy the time that I have with my mom. I can always cry later but right now it’s all about spending time with my mom. I’m pretty sure I’d be mad at myself if I had wasted the past two months crying and feeling sorry for myself rather than enjoying time with my mom.
- Follow your passions. If it makes you happy, go for it. If you truly want to do it, you can find a way.
- Love and be loved. My mom has shown me what the power of love can do. You feel it. See it. It carries you through the tough times. It makes the good times even better.
There is more…much more. For now though, I will take these lessons with me throughout my whole life. Yes, I would have loved to have my mom remind me of these things as I talk to her years from now but that simply cannot happen. However, these are things that I will never forget. My mom is my north star…and even as the light from her star shall dim from her passing, she will always guide me through life. Thank you Mom…I love you.
ps – Many of the other lessons, views on life, ponderings on passions and so forth can also be seen at www.WaxPorhetoric.com.
My time is quite limited as I’m stretched in a few directions right now with my mom being an obvious one. Yet, going to visit her and do things with and for her does not seem like a chore or drain me at all. In fact I feel a bit rejuvenated when I get there. Yeah, the situation really sucks but she’s handling it quite well.
I just sent an email off to a friend (we call him the Egg Man) and he had asked how she was doing. I sent the following…and realized just what an inspiration this woman is. I almost wish she was a famous woman so that she’d be more in the limelight and people all over the world could see what an inspiration she is as she continues on with life. I couldn’t be prouder to have her as my mother.
I haven’t talked to Ma Chia yet today. She got nailed yesterday by the pain. It snuck up on her and grabbed her quick. She had already taken the morphine two hours earlier so we couldn’t give her anymore. Luckily we were able to give her an anti-anxiety drug that helped her focus on getting rid of it and then she did. And then in true Ma Chia fashion she was was like “There! Got that little fucker” (she calls the cancer “Ibu-monster”…she was taking soooo much ibuprofin early on before she got diagnosed). Then the rest of the night she’d be laughing and joking and being herself (aside from a couple times she’d just kind of nod off).
Seeing how she is going through this is really making me love and respect her even more. I mean, some people would just give up. Others would bitch about the pain. Some would just bitch all day every day about it. Not her though. She’s just dealing with the pain when it hits, gets rid of it with the help of the meds and a great attitude, and then she’s carrying on with her day and enjoying our company. It really is an inspiration to see and it just makes me want to be there for absolutely anything she needs (even though she sure as hell wouldn’t let me do anything *smirk*). Hell, in true Ma Chia fashion, she made sure I was doing ok and gave me an apple (“have you been eating enough apples lately?” she asks) as I was walking out the door.
So yeah, she’s doing well. The pain sneaks up every now and then but she treats it as a “damn, here’s the pain” and then carries on when it’s gone.
Let this be an inspiration to us all. No matter what challenges we are faced with, we have a choice in how we can deal with it. We can do it with dignity or not, we can enjoy life or we can complain about it. Rock on Mom, rock on.
My mother still rocks. We watched the Steelers game together last week when I visited her at hospice. She had a Hines Ward jersey on along with me and we just enjoyed some quality time together.
- The tattoo contest deadline has been pushed back a wee-bit as we wait for a few more submissions to make their way in. If you’ve got a great idea, email them to firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ve seen some good ones…aww yeah. Update – deadline will be August 31st. Should be easy enough to remember, yah?
- MyMomIsMyBestFriend.com will soon be changing from a blog site to a social networking site. As much as I like to believe I’ve got to best mom in the world, I know there are other super mothers out there too who are also best friends to their children. Thus, probably later this week you will see the site change and will be able to set up a profile, add pictures, blog about your mother, create groups, talk to others with similar relationships, and so forth. Stay tuned!
Hope you are all doing well. Rumor has it we may get Ma Chia out of hospice and back home soon.
So there I was thinking about my mother. Seeing how many people have come by to bring her food, to see how she’s doing, to have my friends show their support for both her and me at the same time…it’s been a wonderful thing to see. She’s clearly touched the lives of many many people and I keep thinking of new ways to honor her because quite frankly, this woman deserves to be honored.
Can you design a good tattoo to honor your mother?
One of the things I thought of is a tattoo honoring my mother. My mom is actually a fan of “LA Ink” and it kinda gave me the thought. If only Kat would offer to ink me up with something cool to honor my mom. I think she’d do it for a good cause…she seems pretty cool…
Anyway…I digress. So I was thinking of cool tattoos for the people out there that have their moms as their best friends. The first and most obvious design is the heart with “mom” written across it. Yet, there can be so many variations of this. Hmmm…what to do, what to do.
So here it is. This goes out to all you artists out there or just anyone who can come up with a cool design. Supposing, just supposing I were to get something like this put on myself, I’d like to have something good to put on and show the world what this woman means to me. I mean, theoretically speaking of course. *grin* Mom, if you’re reading this, remember it’s just an idea for others out there. Family and friends, if you’re reading this, same goes to you…
Here’s the deal:
- Think of a cool tattoo incorporating a heart and the word “mom”. It can have much more around it or be simple.
- Submit your design.
- I will show all the designs for everyone else to see and possibly use if they want this to honor their own mothers too.
- I will choose the design I like the most (you know, if I was to put this on my own body) and spotlight it on this site and a few other sites.
- Contest ends Saturday, August 15, 2009.
Sound easy enough? It is!
Here’s to all the rockin’ mothers out there.
By the way, my mother is playing Halo on the XBox right now as I type this up. How can you not love a woman like that?
It’s been fun watching my mom in action over the past week and a half in the hospital. I’m obviously biased and think my mom rocks but it’s especially cool seeing other people embrace my mother and take her under their wings.
My mom is a bit sassy to say the least. I get a lot of my traits from her…a bit of sarcasm, quick wit, kindness, and the ability to laugh at myself. Despite the pain of the cancer and the annoyance of all the drugs (she absolutely hates being all doped up and not being 100% coherent) she’s still making semi-crass comments, laughing, and taking this all in stride.
As you can imagine, we’ve seen over a dozen nurses and techs over this time, as well as the surgeon, a few oncologists, and a couple other random doctors. It’s been quite clear to us (“us” being myself and my two aunts who are here) that my mom has become their “pet project”. The doctors are quite wonderful and are laying the smack down with various labs or other doctors if my mother has to sit around too long waiting for a procedure. The nurses seem to enjoy coming in to see this usually lively patient of theirs. It just makes me so very happy to see that even in a time of shock and yuckiness (I know…so eloquent, eh?) that she can keep her wit and continue to positively influence those around her.
Yet another reason my mom is my best friend…you can’t help liking her. She’s got me under her spell just like everyone else. *smile*
Tell us a good story of how your mother wows all those that are around her.
side note – I just realized this would be one of those “it’s good to stay positive and be a good person” stories that are usually featured in Wax Porhetoric. If you need more positive affirmations head on over there and ponder the goodness of life.
A bit after I finished my Top 10 list I was sittin’ here chattin’ with my mother. Have I mentioned she’s one of my best friends? Anyway…I showed her that and then we were talking about this pesky cancer thing inside her and that we just gotta find a way to get rid of it. After that we moved on to the list and I pulled up the page to show her and hopefully put a smile on her face as I let her know in yet another way that I appreciate her very very much and that I definitely approved of how she raised me.
All this led to a great discussion and me thanking her again and again. One really cool thing that I took from my mother’s teachings was a “you can do it” attitude. It goes well beyond the happy cheery “you can do anything you want baby” attitude…it extends to “do what it takes to get it done”. This all stretches to “well if you don’t know how to do it, go ahead and learn and then you can do it”. Armed with this knowledge I could go through life and never worry about saying “I don’t know how to do that” or “I can’t do that”. The only time you’d hear “I can’t do that” is if “now” was attached to the end of it but then that would usually be followed by “but I’ll figure it out”.
Thank you mom.
Yet another reason you are my best friend.
What super life lesson has your mother taught you? Please…share with us all and show your appreciation for your rockin’ mother.
This is a list of the top 10 reasons I think my mom rocks and why she is one of my best friends. These are in no particular order and there are MUCH more than 10 reasons why I think such…but Top 10 lists are the cool thing to do so I did the first ten that popped in my head.
- My mom has always supported me, even when I flip-flop on the same issue.
- My mom has taught me a LOT about life and what it’s all about.
- My mom has always encouraged me to follow my passions.
- My mom makes a pretty good drinking partner (really, she does).
- My mom taught me good study habits as a kid that helped me throughout life.
- My mom is brutally honest…what more can you ask for from a best friend?
- I can always be myself around my mom. Such a great way to live life.
- My mom has a great sense of humor and has taught me the value of laughing in life
- My mom raised me right (at least I think so and others have said the same)
- My mom is the one I always call first when I have either good or bad news. I’d say that’s the sign of a best friend!
So those are just ten of the reasons my mom is one of my best friends. She set me up to be a good person and then she became my best friend. What are your top ten reasons as to why your mom is your best friend?
Hello everyone, and welcome to “My Mom Is My Best Friend”, a site dedicated to the best mothers out there. My mother truly is my best friend. She has raised me into what I like to believe is a fine young man and over the years has gone from the role of loving and caring upbringer of a child to the loving and caring mother and best friend to me.
Just recently my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Truly a crappy shock to us all. However, this site is not going to be a boo-hoo site but rather a site to celebrate the best mothers who have touched us all.
Look at this picture below. Ah yes…that is my mother shoving food in my face around the 4th of July a couple years ago. Yup…that’s the face of a happy boy and a mother who loves him. Laughter abound, you can see why she is my best friend.
A loving mother feeds her son
This is a trying time as we deal with the emotions of hearing such devastating news. But again, it wouldn’t be devastating if my mother wasn’t such an incredible woman. She has touched the lives of many and many are coming to town to show her just how much she is loved.
I will post updates on the progress of this most remarkable woman. Updates on the medical treatments (chemo and radiology and surgery…oh yay!) and of the whole body and life changes that will help rid her body of that nuisance. We’ve got some good doctors here at the hospital and we have also been in touch with the Kushi Institute (thank you Benke for this suggestion) for more healing ways.
If you’ve got a great mother, don’t wait until a bad time (ie, some sickness or other not-so-great event) to say “hey Mom, you rock”. I’m glad that my mom rocked enough for me to feel the urge to tell her on a fairly constant basis that she rocks and that I’m glad she raised me the way she did. Let this be a reminder to us all to say “you’re my best friend”.